Updated: Apr 30
You learn a lot when you lose a child to suicide..... starting with finding more strength than you ever have had in your life to learn how to keep living. But you keep reaching out in a variety of ways until you find it.
There is this club you have become part of that you really didn't know about or ever wanted to know about, let alone become a lifetime member. It's one for parents that have lost a child to suicide. Just like that, free of charge, you are in uncharted territory. No exit strategy. Your heart aches with indescribable pain. Therapy, more therapy, different kinds of treatment, self-care, and the list goes on and on.
There are new terms like 'Angel Mom' and 'Bereaved Mother's Day.' Every celebration you ever experience from this point forward becomes very different—many even awkward. Your friend groups change, some dear friends fade away, others stay with you, and some new ones walk your new path with you.
Eventually, you learn to smile again. You may even notice a sparkle in your eyes starting to return - a sparkle you never even knew had been missing. Yet your mind and heart go uncontrollably back to memories, a thousand or more times a day.
Time has stopped. Suddenly you realize there will not be any more new memories, so the ones you have you treasure as you would gold, wanting to make sure they never go away.
Stigma, judgments, how you should be and act - plenty of people have advice. They want to help. But they can't know your journey. The last thing you want is even the worst enemy to experience such devastating loss.
Mother's Day is the day that stands out for me that I work the hardest to get through. Those 24 hours are the longest each year.
The first year, several of Eric's closest friends I treasure bought me the most beautiful floral arrangement. My nephews and families got me a beautiful necklace with Eric's name. I don't recall much else, but these acts of kindness will be treasured forever.
I started mullen's Miracles, 501(c)3 nonprofit to help with suicide awareness and education with the mission of helping other families not have to walk this path while saving lives.
In the meantime, Mother's Day is rolling around again. Since last year, I have learned about Bereaved Mother's Day. My son, Eric, had a long-time friend, Courtney Snodgrass. I am blessed to have her friendship as well. We teamed up together to design the first Mullen's Miracles Bereaved Mother's Day t-shirt. I know how hard it is to be a bereaved mom.
This year I am funding 100 t-shirts in support of these moms!
If you are a mom who has lost a child to suicide, or you know of one who has, please accept this gift and send it to her! You can resister through the website link listed ~ https://www.mullensmiracles.org/t-shirt
If you are a mom who has lost a child to suicide, or you know of one who has, please accept this gift and send it to her!
There are many ways to support families and Mullen's Miracles. Please take a moment today and see how you can make a difference.
Be a Miracle.